THE ROYAL TREATMENT: URBAN CALM REVIEW

If I belonged to any monarchy, my title by birthright would be Queen of awkwardness. When I say I’m awkward, I don’t mean a bit socially introverted and shy. I mean keeping my shoes and socks on during a massage awkward. SO you can probably imagine my reluctance to make beauty and spa treatments, as much as I enjoy fresh skin and manicured nails. If only a spa existed that made me as comfortable as when I’m watching Drag Race sans pants avec takeaway.

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WORKOUT FOR LAZY GIRLS

You promised this year it would be different. New Year Day came and you were hungover, then that Australian flu came and you, of course, caught it. You told yourself you’d wait till next week to really get into it, like maybe when you go back to work or school/uni. Now it’s fucking February and you’ve actually gained weight instead of losing it. Sound familiar? Well, fear no more. Here is my work out advice for girls (and guys) who are as lazy as I am.

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NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS AND THE BUZZ PHRASE ‘TOXIC PEOPLE’

You’ve heard it more than you’ve heard ‘fake news’ last year. It’s such a trend right now to cut every one negative off and leave them in 2017, but when no one is left to cut off, what are you gonna do? Should you cut yourself off for complaining about Monday mornings? Here is my guide on how to incorporate the phrase CORRECTLY into your resolutions this 2018.

Happy Birthday, Margaux!

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MATERIAL INVESTMENTS; WHAT TO BUY AT WHAT PRICE

Doing things on the cheap is a field I have expertise in. I’m the Joanne the Scammer of the blogger world complete with my fur coat. Sometimes, however, you can’t always fake it. Here is a list I’ve compiled of things you should be willing to spend a bit more on, and things you can go cheap on in there for good measure.

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MY RESOLUTIONS OF 2017 THAT YOU SHOULD DO IN 2018

You might hear the phrase ‘can’t wait to see the back of this year’ every damn year and be sick to the back teeth of it like at midnight we get ‘2017’ in a box and throw it in the Mersey like it’s a concrete object? Things have been out of my control this year but has this stopped me making the most of what I can control? NO. Here are my four resolutions that I achieved this year.

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12 THINGS THAT WILL HAPPEN TO YOU IN FIRST YEAR (AND HOW TO GET THROUGH IT)

“FIRST YEAR DOESN’T EVEN COUNT YOU ONLY NEED 40% PERCENT TO PASS” Is something you’ll hear once a week during your time in university, and though it’s true on paper, first year lays the foundations of how the rest of university experience will be. I’ve compiled a list of all the mistakes me and my mates have made at uni and how to get through them so that, when you make all these mistakes, you know how to handle them.

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SCOUSE BIRDS UNITE; SCOUSE BIRD SHOP LAUNCH

Scouse Bird Blogs has had scouse birds shouting *OH MY GOD THATS SOOO ME* for years now. Her tweets were bible pslams for school girls like me needing reminding how fab they where on break after being call slug brows for an hour by that lad at the back of your science class (honest to god, no photo of my eyebrows circa 2013 exists on social media). So when I was invited to the scouse bird blogs shop I was beyond excited to see the woman behind the tweets.

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